So it's 10:30 and Ben has already been asleep for an hour and a half, which I think warrants a little life update of sorts. This past week has been like a reawakening of sorts for me. I feel like I've finally reached a state of balance, personally, creatively, and professionally, after nearly nine months of being in completely new territory and doing my best to keep my head above the water. It's like I've rediscovered routine again, and that's such a relief.
The first sign that I thought this might be happening was the other night I couldn't sleep. I had just put my laptop away after spending 2 or more hours just feeling super stoked about everything; redesigning my blog, researching calligraphy, and setting up some other quite inspirational things. (more on that sometime later) I tried to fall asleep and I just couldn't. I had so much motivation and inspiration going on in my brain, I literally felt like I couldn't fail. This is how I used to feel nearly nightly; inspiration would hit at like ten and going to bed before 2 am was out of the question because I'd be too busy making to-do lists and making new goals.
Now, I don't really think I should be excited to be back here in the night owls for life club, especially with Ben
going attempting to go to bed at 9 nowadays like the grandpa he wishes he was. But I can't help feel like this is a victory. When I first moved to this apartment in May I've been going to bed rather early, for me at least, at like 10 or midnight at the latest. I felt stressed and spent most day; just ready to give in to sleep which I had never previously felt that early in the night before. I feel like my normal desires to create, write, and explore had completely disappeared because I was busy growing into my new self, as a wife and a college graduate. The fact that I'm now, not only comfortable and succeeding in the adult world, but also finding my old creative habits tugging at me, is such a great sign of a healthy balance.
And at first I didn't think that this little epiphany was enough to write about but then I realized I wanted to remember that this happened. Recognizing this change in me feels like harmony returning and that's enough of a reason to write about it to me.
(ALSO! my birthday weekend just happened and it was pretty much the best. I'll probs write about that in a few days. so, keep an eye out for that.)
1 comment:
Welcome back to the night side of life. While I'm doing my best to shy away from it too, my inner self tends to be fully alive from 11pm to 3am. I realize it isn't normal. But hey, as long as things are getting done. Right?
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