Saturday, July 30, 2011

you know, you're pretty alright for a blog.

it's late and i'm dreading work tomorrow so this is me trying to find ways to justify staying up just a little bit later. and what better way to waste time than to make you a list of all the things that have been going through my head today. lets begin:

  • my limbs itch. how exactly does one manage to acquire six mosquito bites on her right leg and zero on her left? yeah, i have no idea but i definitely did just that on my bike ride last night. i've also got one on my right arm, which is in a conveniently impossible place to scratch. 
  • i work at eight tomorrow. that's not really pressing or exciting news but it's really bumming me out so it tops this list at number two. (i say that like there was this big vote that everyone took to decide which of  my current thought trains are the most note worthy. there wasn't.)
  • i've started this weird habit where i clench my jaw reeeeheeeally tight if i'm concentrating or stressed out or just thinking too hard in general. (insert joke here about me never thinking at all. ha ha) these past few days have been full of a variety of intense and stressful thoughts and the results have been less than fun. i keep having to "flex" my jaw, if you will, every five minutes or so because it starts to feel like the muscles are permanently clenched. it gets so tight that i'm actually getting a migraine from it. 
  • i've decided to make some pretty big life changes as of late, and one of those life changes is to stop drinking soda. about a month ago i was toying with the idea of stopping but lately i've realized just how sick it makes me feel. it's honestly not worth it anymore. oh the joys of being a self diagnosed hypoglycemic. i should also swear off sugar for good, but i'm taking this one painfully healthy step at a time.  
  • i found out that i'm going to be homeless for 9 days, august 15th -24th and there's no way around it. (this is one of those stressful thoughts i briefly mentioned earlier) the only thing i hate more than moving, is moving all my stuff twice in a matter of two weeks. not excited. i'm currently on the lookout for anyone who has an empty back room and a couch that i can crash on for those 9 days. 
  • school is starting soon. i can't tell if i'm dreading it more than being homeless or if i'm excited to finally have direction in my life once again. i guess if school starting didn't directly mean the weather was going to attempt to kill me again i wouldn't mind as much. turns out i'm WAY attached to sunlight and warmth in general. who knew.
  • i've started writing in my journal again. two nights ago i spent quite a few hours going through my last journal from 2009 that i only managed to fill 3/4 of the way. it's funny how we tend to go in circles in our lives, i'm almost back to where i was then, just in a different zip code. after writing for only two days though i've already written 12 pages. i suppose that's what happens when one tries to recap 2 years of living in a matter of nights. i can't tell if starting to keep a personal journal again will take away from this thing here or not. i guess only time will tell.
now that i feel as though we all have a healthy dose of stress running through our veins, i'm going to share this song with you. it's a audible balm, i swear.  there are very few instrumental songs that i like, but this song has my heart. i've been in love with it for about two years now and i've been listening to it on repeat for two days.

well, i only have 4 hours before i have to wake up for work so i should probably get some sleep now. thanks for letting me dump all that on you. you know, you're pretty alright for a blog.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

I'm pretentious. Lets watch a movie.

I'm afraid I've been ruined. All these English classes I've taken this year have turned me into that film-snob girl that everyone hates in the theater. You know, the one who turns up her nose and says something overly rhetorical about how the dialog is simplistic or how the symbolism is so blatant any idiot would pick up on it, or about how the main character is as static as Bella Swann or any other Kristin Stewart portrayal, for that matter. I can feel my friends cringe when I ask them what they thought about a movie.

But while we're on the topic of movies worth being pretentious over; I watched Brick ,a modern day film noir set in a high school, at the beginning of the summer. Luckily for me I learned about film noir in one of my many English classes last semester otherwise I think I would have been bored out of my mind. It got me thinking though, even though the first half of the movie was kind of very slow, and the dialog required close attention to understand what was being said due to the intense 50's-esque crime novel slang they all used, I still sat through it. There's something captivating enough in the idea of a promise of enjoyment at the very end of something that i'll willingly subject myself to two hours of blank stares and question marks. What quality is that in a person that makes them sit through something they don't enjoy because there's a small chance it'll be worth it in the end? Ha, I think I just answered my own question.
Aaaanyway, if any of the seven of you who read this have movie suggestions for me, please share below. I need a beautiful, intelligent film to watch.

Here's a small list of movies that I've found beautifully stimulating, visually or story wise.
Lets add to it, yes?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Momentarily Inspirational.

i'm not one to be big on inspirational quotes. i think that you can read all the eloquently phrased sentences in the world but that's not going to give you the gumption to change whatever repulsive behavior said quote comments on. however, sometimes a few words can go a long way and today those words were brought to me by someone's quote on facebook.

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." - William James

however uncoveted this talent may be, i'm still really good at wasting time. like, make an olympic sport out of it and i will win. every time. which is something i'm trying to change, so this quote came to me just in time. today is the only july 6, 2011 i will ever get. and what am i doing with it? nine out of ten times my answer to that question is nothing.

don't simply tolerate situations, make the best of them. don't cower from opportunities for growth, embrace them. don't ignore what precious little time you were given today, enjoy it.

today i will start incorporating inspiration and stop simply cataloging it.