when electronics strike back.

guys, i'm not going to lie. i'm already kinda burnt out about this whole blogging thing (and apparently my decision to use capital letters was a yesterday only thing. apologies?) but we're going to push through!

i bet a few of you can already guess what this is going to be about.
let me start from the beginning:
so this morning i woke up at an unspecified time (for embarrassment purposes) to a strange feeling on my hand. at first i thought maybe i'd just slept weird on it or whatever but upon further inspection i quickly realized there was actually something wrong.

that is what i found (notice the silk christmas pajamas in the background, i'm always doing my best to stay classy).  after a few seconds of intense confusion i kinda pushed it aside, thinking maybe i'd somehow had something pressing against it all night and that it was just a strange indent that would go away with time. i then reached for my phone to see what time it was, and that's when i realized what was wrong with my hand.

that, my friends is a burn. 
so this is what i think happened. apparently when i fell asleep last night i left the app "words with friends" running and that made my phone have to think really, really hard all night long. that in turn, caused it to use up a lot of energy and therefore become very, very, very hot.
in my half awake stupor i managed to take the battery out of my phone and use it's plastic back to maneuver both my boiling-lava-hot phone and the equally hot battery to the vent on the floor of my room to cool down. 
this situation alarms me for a few reasons:

• HOW DID I NOT WAKE UP!? this is a legit burn, you guys. doctor katrina diagnosed it as a second degree burn (a quick wikipedia check verifies this. look at you go katrina, knowing your degrees of burns). it's all nice and blistery now. the red area thing has cut down by about half but it's still really, really angry. if i can sleep through a second degree burn what else am i capable of sleeping through? this is a question i never want answered. 
• why in the world are phones allowed to get hot enough to cause a second degree burn!? i realize that it was thinking really hard all night but there really needs to be an emergency off switch that automatically shuts everything down when it reaches temperatures that everyone can agree is uncomfortably hot. i mean, that's gotta cause some damage to the phone's internal workings right? if it burnt my skin i bet it could melt plastic...  eventually. right?

anyway, this story has a slightly happy ending. around five o'clock (right when the blistering started) i went over to the verizon store to let them know what their phones were capable of doing to human flesh. at first when i was explaining my phone's problem of draining battery like that's it's j-o-b (this is it's initial problem that i've had for a few days now) the guy there was all "yeah, yeah that's normal. i had that phone... it did that... just factory reset it... you'll be fine." but when i asked him if my phone was supposed to reach temperatures not unlike those of the sun he started to listen a little more intently. then i showed him my burn. his reaction, "WHA?! yeah, lets get you a new battery." while he was taking ten minutes to figure out how make the computer allow me to get a free battery i had the privilege of telling my unfortunate burn story to two other sales associates and a customer that they were helping. 

i have a feeling i was the talk of the verizon store for at least today, if not tomorrow as well. 

want to see more pictures? i thought you would.

this is at about seven-ish.

and this is how it looks right now. do not let it's lack of redness fool you, this monster hurts. 

(heartburn update: katrina's mom, franci, gave me a miracle pill... it started with a "z"... or was it an "x"... yeah i've already forgotten the name but it's basically become my new favorite thing.)