beds: thankvember day four

so for some reason i put off writing today until the last minute, which has found me struggling to keep my eyes open. so today i will be brief.

i am thankful for my bed. while in austria i had a cheap, run of the mill ikea bed which comprised of a series of wooden slats bowed in a box... if that makes sense. the slat with the job of supporting my back continuously fell onto my wooden floor. i found this, not only annoying because of the missing support, but extremely terrifying as wood falling onto wood tends to be a little loud and also tends to happen late at night while i'm in said bed. not only was my bed subpar, but i had rough cotton sheets that weren't fitted so they constantly bunched. oh, and i shared my room with another human being, but that's the story for another day.

basically, it's that experience that leaves me today being excited to sleep on my squeaky twin sized bed, springs and all.

here are the only pictures i can find on my laptop of my bed in austria... all of these courtesy of rakel.

preemptive walk down memory lane.

i'm kind of at a loss here, guys. part of me has been feeling compelled to write in here for a good few weeks while the another part of me has been absolutely forbidding it. i only have a month left with time picking up speed each day, turning my mind into the very definition of conflict and confusion and therefore not really conducive for writing others would want to read (as you're about to find out).

i have so many things i'm looking forward to at home, like being reunited with my brother after a very long two years and a few exciting trips with people i have been really, really missing. but at the same time thinking about leaving this place makes me feel like frantically running around the city clinging to every surface possible.

i don't want to leave. i don't feel ready to say goodbye yet. there's so much i haven't seen, felt or eaten and to think of leaving before doing all that makes me feel like i'm never going to have an opportunity to.

but even beyond all that, i don't want to leave the people i've met here. guys, i've been so lucky. the branch here is full of such loving and giving members. if my belief in the christ-like nature that our church tries to instill in it's members was ever called to question, these people have more than validated it. i can't even imagine having to say goodbye to the missionary couple here, they've been like my european grandparents, always giving me a handshake and a hug every time they see me. not to mention the other friendships i've forged with the young single adults. every single one of them have been such a blessing in my life. to think that the time is coming where i won't get to see them every sunday, monday and thursday, or truthfully maybe ever again, is something i am having a hard time wrapping my head around. they've become such an anchor in my daily life that there is definitely going to be a gaping hole there once i leave.

i'm really going to miss planning elaborate trips that somehow end up happening. i'm going to miss friday night's dinner and a movie every weekend. i'm going to miss waiting for an extra 12-25 minutes at sillpark for my bus after FHE/JAE just so we can talk a little while longer. i'm going to miss watching ping pong games that seem to go on forever but always end up in consuming and infectious laughter. i'm just all around gong to miss getting to hang out with such amazing diverse people.

when i first signed up to come here i thought only of the experiences i was going to have, but i completely forgot to factor in the people who i was bound to care for way too much for my own good. 

  

i'm really going to miss these guys. 

Lets break my comfort zone, everybody together now!

So while I was brushing my teeth to get ready for bed I realized I didn't smell anything. Normally that's a good thing but it alarmed me because that means my apartment no longer has that distinct Europe smell. My nose has finally acclimated to it. And it's not just that, but my building's doors no longer confuse me. I've finally learned which way each individual one opens. And when going somewhere I no longer have to take five minutes planning my course, but instead I have the buses memorized and know exactly when to leave and what connections to take (alright that one isn't entirely true. I got lost just last week but still, I've made significant improvements).

I realized I've been here for 71 days. That means I only have 79 days to go. My time here is nearly half over. This brought about on an onslaught of overbearing fears that maybe I'm not doing enough. That I'm not fully taking every advantage of the opportunity that I've been given to come here. That I'm going to leave wanting. That I'm going to leave with regret. So, in order to avoid that I've decided to give myself a challenge.

Every few days I would like to do something that puts me outside of my comfort zone, if only just a little bit. It can either take ten seconds or two hours, doesn't matter. Just so long as it's something that new that's going to help me grow just a little bit more. The only problem now is I can't think of enough goals. And that's where you come in, Mom and the three other people who actually read this. I need ideas. Help me think of simple things I can do to take full advantage of my time here. Ready? Go!
Here are some that I've already come up with:

Goals to avoid becoming complacent: 

order food completely in german

initiate conversation with someone i don't know

take a bus i've never taken before and ride it's route

be a tourist for a day where i live

go to the castle

carry my camera all day 

actually study in the library

get a picture of me with each of the people in my life here.

visit a temple

cook an elaborate dinner with friends

go on a run

sit alone by the river for an hour or two

carry a journal around all day and write 

visit an antique store

finally send off my post cards (i am the worst you guys, i'm so sorry)
go on a day long adventure with Rakel -by Rakel, obviously
see a sunrise -Dad
visit Sleeping Beauty's Castle- Mom
take a sketch book around for a day and draw everything -Evelyn
Go to Wattens
visit the zoo
Hike a mountain -Johanna

as i get more i'll add them here, and maybe i'll even include the name of the person who suggested it to me. such an honor! i know.

lets end on a positive note: here are a few of my new favorite things, my collection of post cards and fruit tea :)

spring is (trying to be) here!!

it was warm today for the first time in... forever. want to know how my body reacted? instant hives. good to know i've still got it.

despite my spontaneous reaction of hival proportions, today was a gorgeous day. marissa and i ate lunch at this park, next to a lake full of half confused ducks (this guy was attempting to feed them by throwing perfectly good bread into the water near where they were sitting and they swam away in fear. ducks. are. retarded. speaking of how retarded ducks are, we also reached the hypothesis that while pigeons are the rats of the birds, ducks are definitely like that kid from elementary who would eat gum off the bottom of desks and sucks on the collar of his shirt and jump around like a frog during recess. you know the type of kid i'm talking about. but i digress...). the sun was out, the snow was melted, the tulips are bravely poking their little heads out of the still wet flower beds, and the lunch we'd purchased from the nearby spar was one of the best sandwiches/massive chocolate covered creme puff things i've had in a while (or i was just extremely hungry. either answers are valid).

after we were done eating we sat there in glutton-ed contentment until this middle eastern looking dude sat on the bench nearest us and started blasting "music" of equally middle eastern quality.  i'm usually one of those people who can ignore rude and obnoxious people and their behavior but this time was different. i'd waited so long for this perfect sunny day and from that point forward i couldn't completely enjoy it because of his stupid music. /rant.

 guys. innsbruck is so pretty. i walk out my door everyday to stand at the bus stop facing the alps (which i live in the middle of), and just remind myself of how lucky i am to be here. i cannot wait until everything comes back to life and turns green and warm and friendly and i'll feel compelled again to never leave my house without my camera.


school update: it's only week two and i'm already ready to go back to running around europe, and reading nonsense novels and skyping until 4 am every night. i'm so bad at being a productive human being.

oh, and don't worry, i saved the best news for last! guys. i bought tickets to ireland tonight! i am so excited. for as long as i can remember i've had this inner pull to find a way to go to ireland, and it's finally happening. we're going to be there from april 2nd to the 8th, hopefully by then everything will be fully green. i'll make sure to take pictures of every castle i encounter while there.

everything is beautiful and nothing hurts :)

my second, first day of school.

5 months of being free from thinking critically, not having to manage my time wisely, or worry about being coherent at 8 AM, has sadly come to an end. school officially started today. even though i am thoroughly exhausted, which is partially due to it being 1 AM (my poor roommate, whom by the way has gone to sleep and i just so happen to have the loudest keyboard ever so i'm going to make this uncharacteristically short) and partially to me not being able to complete a few of those tasks, namely the coherent one, i am making myself write this now because i know if i wait it'll never happen (just like my blog post i have outlined from my rome trip... which is still unwritten.).

alright here is my list of things from my first day of school:

• my intro to american studies class is taught by the ghost of steve jobs. no joke. he's got the black turtle neck, glasses, and strange jeans down to a "t". 
• during the lecture people randomly got up and left, like a lot. and they weren't subtle about it either. every time someone left there was definitely a distraction. 
• we mentioned religion more than i thought possible in one class period, and  then i realized there isn't the separation of church and state over here. it's still weird though.
• after the lecture ended all the students started simultaneously knocking on their desks. it took me a good 10-15 seconds to realize what was going on.
• i totally scored points with pseudo-steve jobs by telling him i was an english foreign exchange student. for reasons unknown the professors here are almost enamored with students from america.

because my first two hours of human interaction were completely in english i think i upset the german to english ratio of language in my life, and therefore i think i made the foreign exchange student gods mad at me. after my two hour class i managed to encounter all of the non-english speakers working at every store i visited for the rest of the day. i'm getting really good at talking slow and doing a lot of pointing.

and for my closing paragraph i'll tell you something i probably shouldn't admit, but it's late and i don't really care. so, i like to play this game where i look at someone and try to tell what language they speak or where they're from. i realize how superficial this is, not to mention insanely inaccurate, however i just can't help myself. it was a lot more fun to while traveling.

speaking of traveling, i edited a few more pictures tonight. so i'm just going to leave this here...

traveler's journal: a list of accomplishments.

so i figure, not only am i super tired and therefore not quite mentally capable of writing in depth about my adventures today, but i also figure you guys don't want to read a 1,500 word essay on what i ate and where i spent my hard earned money on this here 6th of february. therefore i shall make you a quick list, as i am prone to do. 


lets begin: i...
-woke up at 6:45 AM all by myself (yes, i feel the need to document this every time it happens.)
-met my english studies advisor
-registered at the university
-got a bank account/card
-sold a $2 for € 2,50 to the dude who works at the bank. take that crappy currency conversion rate!
-tried a krapfen, or doughnut, and it was divine.
-learned and then recognized a german word: bitte. 
-bought my first two bars of european chocolate. mm mm mmmm. 
-purchased 5 country train ticket pass
-planned a trip to paris... for tomorrow
-secured a new blow drier to replace the one i blew
-went to FHE/ got free dinner. 
-found out how to walk home if i ever stay out too late for my bus (which will never happen because i'm -really, really good at making it home by curfew)
-and finally set up my internet. 


also, quick story time: so i was trying to find a photo booth thing to get a passport-esque picture taken for my bank card in one of the many, many mall type shops here (fun fact: this building was not only a shop on the bottom floor, but it was also city hall on the top two floors. they are the weirdest.) but i was having troubles. so i did what i always do, and started asking people if they spoke english and if they knew where the photo booth was. one particular man actually approached me first, that's how lost i looked, so i asked him if he spoke english. he started laughing, almost like i'd just asked him if his mom loved him and if his nose were on the end of his face and he then proceeded to give me directions in english with a very austrialian (from austrialia... not austria) accent. turns out i was supposed to be able to tell by looking at him that he wasn't a native german speaker... i guess.
alright, now that i've written that i'm unsure why i felt it was so worthy to share. gonna blame this one on the jetlag... because that's completely relevant. 


well, i think it's bed time now. or at least time to wait another 15 minutes for a 3 minute youtube video to load completely. while i'm on the 12 hour train ride tomorrow i'll write more interesting/in depth blogs for you guys. but until then, tschüss!

traveler's journal: entry two.

so, it's my second full day of being here and wouldn't you believe it, i already can't think of anything to write about.

oh! want to know something fun? ok. so not only do you need a power adapter for electronics but some also require a power converter thing. guess who didn't know that? yeah... guess who's bathroom light and bathroom plug no longer works... yeah... not my brightest moment. (brightest... get it! because the light is broken! ha, i'm so funny.)

so instead of stories i'll give you a list of things i've accomplished today:
*i purchased things so i can live like a normal human being, such as shampoo, body wash, and bread.
*i finally unpacked all my schtuff. it seems so unfair that i felt like i'd brought so much with me but once i'd unpacked it seems like there really wasn't all that much at all.
speaking of my stuff, wanna see my bedroom? ok

quaint isn't it? quite. i think so too.

in retrospect maybe i should have taken a picture of the other side of the room as well so you could see the entire area, but i didn't. maybe tomorrow? i share this room with another girl, who i actually haven't met yet. which i find kind of unnerving. hopefully she shows up before i take off on my travels. 

*i fell asleep at 10:30 last night and i woke up at 8:15 all by myself! i didn't even set an alarm or anything. high fiving a million angels!
*i actually recognized where i was today. i can't even tell you how happy that makes me. i'm slowly becoming more and more comfortable with the bus system here.

things that are different from home:
*instead of waiting to be seated at a restaurant you seat yourself. also, when it comes time to leave you just pay the waitress, and she gives you your change from the a little money pouch around her waist. you don't get a receipt and for all i know it's not documented in any way either.
*they play good music here. i've heard my favorite song "somebody i used to know" playing at least 3 times all ready, and "young blood" by the naked and famous, which is yet another one of my absolute favorite songs, was playing in the street today.
*either american's drink faster than europeans or i'm just an incredibly fast drinker. by the time i was half way done with my meal i was already out of my soda and the people i was with had hardly even made a dent in theirs.
*also people here walk a lot faster than americans, which is awesome. because now my stride finally fits in.
*people walk everywhere but they also smoke. i don't understand how people who seem to be so environment friendly and health conscious can condone smoking. makes no sense.
*this is going to make me sound really girly, but everyone seems so fashion forward here. normally i don't get too terribly excited over fashion nonsense but the shoes here are freaking awesome. it's a good thing that i'm determined to limit my paying customer interactions otherwise i'm pretty sure i'd spend all my food money on unnecessary clothing items.
*speaking of shopping: the oh so popular store forever21 is called forever18 over here. who in the world would want to be 18 forever!? gah, that would be awful.

today while shopping for some necessities a young boy skipped past me and marissa counting the check out lines in english. both me and marissa turned to each other and got way excited. turns out his mother was in line behind us and they were from new jersey. days where i've met someone from the USA: 2/2. i wouldn't mind if this trend continues.

wow, for not having much to say this sure is long. apologies?

traveler's journal: entry one.

oh so you want an update? actually, you probably don't want one as much as i am willing to give one, but since this is my blog i'm pretty sure it's my desires that get written about. so, that's what we'll do.
wow, that got slightly aggressive there for a second, lets blame it on the jetlag (even though i'm weirdly showing like zero signs of. but i guess that kind of makes sense, since i wasn't even sleeping in our time zone to begin with). apologies. anyway, lets get on with it.

first: i started off this international journey, as any world traveler should, on 30 minutes of sleep. smart as always.  i caught the plane from st.george and rode for a gripping 40 minutes to salt lake. from there i sat in the airport for longer than the flight itself was, about an hour, and caught a plane to atlanta, georgia. on that flight i sat next to a rather pleasant, 60 something year old woman with a nose ring, a bag of organic fruit, which she freely shared, and an affinity for curse words, which she also shared with me and the rest of the plane. because of my previous decisions not to sleep like a normal person, my sickness, which i was almost free of, decided to come back with a vengence, leaving me a sniffling mess on the plane. after ten minutes of me and my faucet for a nose she asked me if i was ok; apparently the cold sniffles sound exactly like the i-am-terrified-of-flying-and-emotionally-unstable sniffles. after seeing that i was actually ok, or just really good at faking, she shared half her clemintine with me just for good measure.

my trip has been full of really great strangers like that. while i was attempting to get from the zurich airport to the main train station i was clearly struggling trying to cart around my luggage which weighed just as much as me. (wanna know how i knew i was clearly struggling? i had multiple people stare and laugh at me. not even kidding. at one point the carry-on suitcase i had balanced upon the larger of my bags slipped and fell to the side. so in my ever present grace, i stopped and attempted to pick the suitcase up, all without letting go of my second bag, which was unbelievably front heavy and would tip over if i dared leave it unattended. this happened to me quite a few times actually, and consequently i've become really good at handling public ridicule, but moving on.) so, i was trying to get my two 50 lb suitcases and my two carry-on's up the four steps and onto the train with a line of rather impatient people behind me, a random older gentleman came and saved me. that happened another two times while trying to navigate the train station with all my luggage. (btdubs, i've completely learned my lesson and will NEVER take the 50 lb weight limit as a challenge to make my suitcases as close to fifty as possible. never again.)
one of the most notable saviors is marissa. she's the other USU student here in innsbruck and i swear without her i would be hopelessly and overwhelmingly lost, which is absolutely terrifying to think about because i'm pretty overwhelmed as it is. not only did she save me from the train station but she's taught me how to use the bus system, she's introduced me to many awesome people, and she even helped  me get a cell phone.

one of my favorite things so far is the little difference between here and home. and so i made a list of a few of those things,

fun things i've noticed:

• there are dogs everywhere. and it's awesome. the people over here are really big dog lovers and so, as i write this in a colder-than-i'm-comfortable-with coffee shop there is a dog wandering around, free of his leash, as his owner eats her lunch. (let me clarify, there are very well groomed, well behaved, pet dogs everywhere. i've yet to see any strays.)
• kids speaking german. i have no idea why but this makes me smile. and in that same vane another thing that makes me laugh at inappropriate times in public is...
• they put their kids in snow suits often, which i guess isn't too weird considering it's only 14 degrees outside! (holy crap is it cold here. i remember complaining heavily last year during christmas break because it got down to 6 degrees at night and i was basically frozen. this place is like that at noon. it's a good think i lived in logan for a year and a half before moving here, because i'm not even prepared for it now. i can't imagine how i would have been going straight from 50 degree days to 10 degree days. yeah. no.)

not so fun things:

• everything is gibberish to me. i was sitting in the city office today and i realized that not a single word written in any of the papers so delicately tossed on the lady's desk meant anything to me. it was kind of unreal because the whole motivation behind writing things down is to convey meaning and nothing about those words meant anything to me. it's the same with talking. the noise of the general public now sounds like everyone tape recorded their voices and are playing it backwards and i'm supposed to understand. so whenever i hear someone speaking english it's almost like they're a lighthouse and i can't help but stare at them in an attempt to soak in as much english as possible. (in related news: i now completely sympathize with the solely spanish speakers in southern utah, and i would like to publicly apologize for thinking you were weird for pausing before responding to my questions whenever you visited my place of work. because i now do that too. and it's makes me feel retarded)
• you're all sleeping while i'm awake. which, lets be honest, really isn't that much different from how it used to be, but still... it's kind of a bummer. but i guess it doesn't really matter because...
• i now have a very expensive calendar, calculator, and watch instead of a "smart" phone. so even if i tried to contact one of you, you'd probably be sleeping. i hate that i can't take pictures of the peculiar things i'm experiencing and then upload it to facebook. or that i can't text you guys back home things i see here that remind me of you. but i guess that's what facebook is for, right? speaking of facebook....
• the internet at my apartment isn't set up and can't be set up until i get registered at the university, which i can't do until monday. ooh dear internet, how do i miss thee, let me count the ways. 
• speaking of things my apartment doesn't have: a kitchen. so i don't have a fridge to keep my beloved milk in. turns out i'm going to be eating out a looot this semester, add that to the list of new things i'm going to experience. 

well i think that's a long enough post for now. i wish i had pictures to accompany it but alas, i'm still too chicken to boldly use my camera in public. however, i promise that is going on top of my list of things to do. 

2 days...

...until i leave the country. and i'm freaking out.

just thought i'd let you know. in case you were wondering about my current mental state in regards to the next six months of my life.

frantic. frazzled. freaking out. fret. fret. fret.

freedom.

finally.