maria: the girl (who wishes she was worthy of being) on fire.

there's something about seeing a highly anticipated movie that leaves me with an intense desire to talk to everyone around me about everything that i'm feeling about it and otherwise. but since the only person i have at my disposal to talk to isn't exactly fluent in english slash is asleep and therefore not really at my disposal at all, i'm going to have to write about it in here instead. go!

i'm sure i've already made it abundantly clear, either through my facebook activity which you're all subject to or, heaven forbid, you've had the misfortune of actually talking with me from the time i saw this movie until the time that you're actually reading this, i finally saw the hunger games.

let the dissecting begin:
i think i was afraid to let myself like this movie in the beginning. i'd heard enough cautionary reviews from people i trusted that it was like i was almost prepping myself for the worst. consequently, i found myself extremely frustrated for the first twenty minutes, and this is why. i'd been warned about the amount of camera shake they used and so i thought in my readied state i'd be able to look past it. nope. even being prepped for it i found it extremely distracting. and that's saying something. i understand why it was used, most of the movie is shot as if it was reality tv, but the camera shake combined with the overuse of panning-out-of-focus-shots left me bugged and feeling a little out of focus myself. along those same lines, i felt like all of the scene were cut a few seconds too short. i didn't get to absorb or actually take in a scene fully before it cut away. this left me frustrated and distracted enough that i had even less time to take in the next scene before it too, was prematurely cut away. it almost felt as if the director had no faith in his work and therefore wanted all the scenes to cut away before the viewer noticed his flaws. you'd think with such elaborate costumes from the capitol especially, one would want to let the viewer bask in their hard work. guess not. (i'm also now realizing that maybe someone had the brilliant idea that in order to make the film shorter they'd just shave off a few seconds from every scene. and to that, i suggest that whomever's head that idea pooped out of is forced to consume cups of straight sugar, to cut their concentration level in half of course, and then sit and watch a pbs documentary where all the scenes are annoyingly cut a few seconds too short. not so easy to follow the story line now, is it, idea-man? didn't think so.)
while we're still bashing the filmography, the CG seemed really... low budget. you'd think with a movie this hyped they'd have more high quality equipment to work with.

story wise, i was fine with how they adapted the story line. the relationships between... well basically everyone felt completely glossed over though and so i had a hard time buying into every character's actions.

my favorite part of the movie was easily my favorite part of the book as well. i loved the delicate way the balance between the callous and desensitized way the people in the capitol felt towards the hunger games in contrast with the heart wrenching dread for the games and yet inevitable conceit to the capitol's wishes the districts experienced.when effie is drawing the names for the district 12 tributes and she congratulates katniss and asks everyone to congratulate her as well she is met with silence. there are multiple examples of this sort of misplaced excitement that a capitol member feels towards the games or towards a killing while the audience and the district citizens are clearly distraught and disgusted. i can't help but find this juxtaposition of the two different frames of mind to be so disturbing that it becomes enchanting.

well, it's now 2 AM so i do believe that is enough rambling for tonight.

and, i'm sorry, but now that we've all seen peeta and gale in "real life", can we all agree that peeta is a girl, in looks and in action, and gale is actually a man and just plain more attractive and therefore clearly the winner? yes? thank you.

with all this said, i still kind of want to be the girl on fire. or at least learn how to wield a bow like that. hot dang!

a list of thoughts: halloween version.

guys. it's only 1 am and i'm already exhausted and completely ready for bed. i feel like this is some kind of bad sign, however because i've had a collective 8 hours of sleep over the past two days, and i work at 9 in the morning i'm not going to fight it this time. well, after i write this and then watch an episode of community on hulu, then i'll stop fighting it.

so, from the moment i got up this morning i've been thinking of things to tell you guys. i haven't really told you anything in a while so the fact that i have multiple things to tell you really caught me off guard. i'm hoping that's just my brain getting me ready/excited for nanowrimo and to write 1,667 words a day, however i'm pretty sure that's purely wishful thinking. which is unfortunate.

lets start from the top:

• i woke up this morning in the most disoriented state i've ever been in my entire life. i spent over ten seconds in three separate mind sets. first: i thought it was saturday, but i couldn't figure out why my alarm was going off. then i was sure it was sunday and that i was late for work. but once i looked at my phone, which said 8:10, that scenario didn't work because we don't open until noon. i knew i had somewhere super important to be but i couldn't figure it out. after some very intense trudging through my cloudy muddled mind i realized it was monday and that i had a project due in my 2D design class in twenty minutes. after some miracle preforming i ended up only being five minutes late to class. still unsure as to how i pulled that one off.
• when people saw me this morning i'm sure they thought i just didn't wake up in time to get ready. but nope: it was actually my halloween costume. or at least that's what my foggy/brilliant state of mind decided to tell EVERYONE I RAN INTO ON THE BUS. which just so happens to be literally everyone i'm friends with up here. but i digress. because i woke up late i didn't have time to... well to virtually do anything. so i quickly threw on some clothes and a couple jackets, grabbed a granola bar and ran for the bus. this means i didn't have time to put on my socially acceptable face which also means i was sporting yesterday's hair. i truly was a vision. 
• after all that fun tired/hobo nonsense i had the privilege of going to the local dollar plus here. in my 3D design class we're creating light fixtures solely out of material purchased at the dollar store. now, anyone who knows me knows i HATE dollar stores. there's just something inherently repulsive about them to me. but today i must have been in a more receptive state of mind because i found myself in awe of the store's low prices instead of put off by them. that is, until i was waiting in the check out line with my china-made finds and i spotted a pregnancy test right next to the packs of sure-to-be-stale wriggly gum. my first reaction was to laugh. why anyone would put any faith in a pregnancy test purchased at a dollar store is completely beyond me. my second reaction was to text trina, whom them responded accurately with a "hahahhah"
• as a valued employee of kiddie kandid's i get to work in logan's sad excuse of a mall. today they sponsored trick or treating for over 3,000 little kids to come dressed up and get free candy. what baffled me wasn't how many parents were dressed up, but how many were scantily clad. which was an alarming amount. i guess some people never quite grow out of some phases.
• in the theme of halloween i watched a scary movie tonight. at first i was so sure i was going to regret it because i've always been a child with an overactive imagination. however, that scary movie pulled a fast one and i ended up full of regret for a whole different slew of reasons. that movie was the biggest waste of time ever. if i was to star in a movie as a creepy psycho person who gets her jollies off by terrifying strangers, i wouldn't spend 90% of my time standing silently behind said strangers so only the audience can see me and then completely disappearing so the main characters hardly ever see me. it's not scary. it's not surprising. it's not effective. /rant

lets end on a good note: i got a 95% on my art history paper. it's too bad that doesn't count for 75% of my grade instead of 25% because i have a feeling the midterm i took last week isn't going to be anywhere near that high.

well i just realized i've been sitting with my head tilted back against the wall for five minutes, in a state which started out as thinking and almost ended in kinked-neck sleeping, so i think i'm going to bed now.

Monday August 22, 2011: "you is kind, you is smart, you is important."

 so, i'm way tempted to just say "hmm not my
fault i've had three late posts in a matter of four days" and excuse
it all away but i can't because it totally is my fault. i knew the internet was
going to shut off at midnight last night and also, i totally let myself
fall asleep earlier than planned. i was laying in bed, super tired, with
my laptop and i started to get cold so i got under the covers and closed my
eyes, even though i knew that meant i was going to fall asleep. and i
totally did. with my contacts in, makeup on, teeth unbrushed (grooooss, i
know. i brushed them first thing in the morning though, no worries), and
clothes still on. i woke up this morning with my laptop in my bed and my
eyes drier than (insert horrible simile about the southern utah desert).



well, now that i have that out of the way: last
night i went and saw the help with jerrick. at first we thought
we were going to be the only two people in there, which made me feel all cool,
like they were putting the movie on just for us but then four more couples
came and ruined that. which totally sucked because being alone in a movie
theater is the best. but you know what's better than that? the movie the help.







guys if you know me you know that normally i strongly dislike movies that
make you feel good or cause you to examine the comfortable ways of thinking
that society has unknowingly, or knowingly, instilled in us despite how wrong they may be. however i was
definitely a fan of this movie. the three leading females were all so
brilliant; we all know i have a strangely intense love for emma stone but
the two other females who played opposite of her were so compelling. there's
one part of the movie where the main maid Aibileen is getting the little girl
she looks after get ready for the day and she just looks her in the eyes
and says, "you is kind, you is smart, you is important." let me
tell you, if i had the capabilities to cry during a movie that line alone would
have done me in. actually the entire relationship aibileen has with that
little girl is so precious and heart wrenching. even the
"villains" of this movie were so horrible that they were
brilliant. the way they treated everyone who was below them really helped me open
my eyes to how i treat others. when a movie is able to do that in a way
that inspires their audience instead of alienating them, i'd have to say that's a
success.  if you haven't gathered by now, i definitely recommend this
movie. 
  
i'll leave you with another random favorite
song. my little brother showed this song to me. i never thought i'd say i
actually enjoyed songs that he liked but here we are, agreeing on
something. 
  

it's kind of a funny story and 100 fictional artists.

so, i've been trying to write this for the past two and a half hours. i have way too  many things swirling around in my head so i'm just going to give you a bulleted list of things:

i watched it's kind of a funny story tonight.  

first, why didn't i realize how brilliant of an actor Zach Galifianakis is? honestly. this movie was oh so good for a few different reasons (ooh we're about to go another layer deep, in bulletedlistception!)

• one: it's a story about mental illness that leaves you feeling good and inspired at the end. anyone who knows me, know i HATE inspirational movies (which definitely says something about my character... we're just not going to take the time to figure out what that is.) but this one had me feeling the "warm fuzzies", as my mom would say, and i actually liked it. 
• it's a perfect mix of awakenings and (500) days of summer. deep enough that i left feeling like i understood the human condition just a little bit better just for having watched it, but at the same time quirky enough that i didn't feel like the movie was taking itself too seriously. 
• turns out this movie is an adapted book, i know what my next read is going to be...
• the way the story was told was just plain awesome. the actors were perfectly cast and did their jobs flawlessly, and just... *gush* i just really loved this movie. (i wrote more about that than i thought i would. you're welcome?)
• so there's this guy, named Shea Hembrey. he wanted to make an international art exhibit containing 100 diverse artists. so he did.  that's right, he created 100 fictional artists and then created their works of art, their back stories, their likes, dislikes, hobbies. everything. ALL BY HIMSELF. if that doesn't make you feel insignificant i don't know what will. one of the things he mentions in this video is if he can't explain a piece of art in 5 minutes or less in a way that his grandma would understand then the artwork isn't crisp, concise or developed enough.  i realize this movie is 16 minutes long but i found the whole thing to be fascinating, hopefully you do too. (i had the wrong video posted but that's been fixed now, thanks for not telling  me, you guys.)

 

alright, so i didn't really only have two things to tell you guys but it's 3:30, i'm tired, and this took a lot longer than i thought it would. maybe i'll continue my list tomorrow. maybe. 

heartburn update: i purchased zantac (that's what it was dad, mystery solved) today. i'll let you know if it works tomorrow.

legit/phone burn update: it's now nice and hugely blistered. i had to keep having katrina reassure me that it's best not to pop them. we'll see if i last another day with these things. 

I'm pretentious. Lets watch a movie.

I'm afraid I've been ruined. All these English classes I've taken this year have turned me into that film-snob girl that everyone hates in the theater. You know, the one who turns up her nose and says something overly rhetorical about how the dialog is simplistic or how the symbolism is so blatant any idiot would pick up on it, or about how the main character is as static as Bella Swann or any other Kristin Stewart portrayal, for that matter. I can feel my friends cringe when I ask them what they thought about a movie.

But while we're on the topic of movies worth being pretentious over; I watched Brick ,a modern day film noir set in a high school, at the beginning of the summer. Luckily for me I learned about film noir in one of my many English classes last semester otherwise I think I would have been bored out of my mind. It got me thinking though, even though the first half of the movie was kind of very slow, and the dialog required close attention to understand what was being said due to the intense 50's-esque crime novel slang they all used, I still sat through it. There's something captivating enough in the idea of a promise of enjoyment at the very end of something that i'll willingly subject myself to two hours of blank stares and question marks. What quality is that in a person that makes them sit through something they don't enjoy because there's a small chance it'll be worth it in the end? Ha, I think I just answered my own question.
Aaaanyway, if any of the seven of you who read this have movie suggestions for me, please share below. I need a beautiful, intelligent film to watch.

Here's a small list of movies that I've found beautifully stimulating, visually or story wise.
Lets add to it, yes?

 

therapy for the soul, torture for the mind.

i tried to ignore the fact that i had a blog for the past few months. secretly though, it's been nawing at me for neglecting it. and for that i apologise dear rants and rants and rants for candy.
today has been a very clear self pity day, which is sad because that seems to be the only times i feel like "blogging". i'm pretty sure this building of self loathing started today around 4:35 when i entered staduim 8 with full intentions to watch and enjoy my sister's keeper. there is no way i could have prepared myself for the predictable 20 minute tear jerkers, nay the tear demanders that film produced. being the stone heart i am, i earnestly tried to ignore all of the demanders but it was really really really hard and strenuous. i found myself basically exhausted at 6:30 when the film was over.
that need for a good hard cry has not let up in the six hours after that show. it's now about 12:30 and despite my truest efforts, i am still fighting against the grain to keep my face dry.

for the first time in my life i am praying for bad dreams to drain this need from me.

Maria's Infinite Playlist... I wish.

So I saw Nick and Nora's Infinite Play List tonight. Have you ever seen a movie that gets you so wrapped up in the story line that you find yourself making a mental note on how to alter your current life to mimic that movie? I have. A lot actually.

I remember the first time I saw The Count Of Monte Cristo. I was wrapped up in that movie for weeks. Although, I don't recall trying to alter myself to fit Edmond's charactor... ok so maybe this example doesn't fit. But still, this happens to me. And not just over movies, over books too.

I remember the first time i read Towers of Brierly (it's a sappy mormon love story book, I don't recommend it to any of you who are above sixth grade and have surpassed aspiring to acquire a fairy tale romance) I wanted to move to Ireland, find me a Gavin and frolic in the moors with his handicap older sister Effie.

Aaaanyway... this happened to me again tonight. I want to be Nora. I want to have the long crazy wavy dark hair. I want to wear wet eyeliner and red lipstick. I want the perfectly straight teeth and the odd, almost pretty face. I want to be a good best friend again, one who will treaten to beat up three gay guys if they harm my friend. Plus it wouldn't hurt to have a famous dad, like she does.

Yeah I've just realized this is a pointless, self centered post. Apologies. But I couldn't help myself... I need to say these things.

Number of times the word "I" appeared in this blog: 18. Including the one on this line.

Oh p.s. I'm going to be dying my hair dark this week aaand I(now 20 "I"s... 21) don't want you guys to think it's because of this movie. I've (22) actually been planning to dye it for a while now. Just so you know...


oh and p.p.s. the movie wasn't that amazing... i just got really fond of the idea of running around new york as a famous girl with my music soul mate.