so guys, being homeless for these past few days has really got me thinking about what exactly makes up a home and what it takes to make a person feel "at home" or feel comfortable.
i remember the summer before seventh grade i went and stayed at my grandparent's house for a week without any other members of my family. my first night back home after a week away i felt extremely confused. i was torn and completely overwhelmed with feelings of missing my extended family, whom i'd just left, and feeling relieved because i was finally in my bed in the comfort of my own home. i'm pretty sure i cried before i fell asleep that night out of sheer confusion. ever since that vacation i kinda just accepted that i was one of those people who took a while to adapt to a new place.
now rewind to a year ago: i moved from my perfect and comfortable bedroom of eight years, in my house of thirteen years, to a brand new city six hours and four hundred miles away from home to live on my own. i was scared and rightly so. however, i surprised everyone, including myself, with having no problems adapting to "living like an adult." that extreme confusion and overwhelming feeling of being lost that i had so intensely experienced as a little twelve year old that i was expecting wasn't there. turns out i was totally fine with living with two strangers, surrounded by twenty strangers in my building, and 624 strangers in these apartments, and over 18,000 strangers on campus.
since that fatal day over a year ago i've moved four times, stayed in six different places for extended periods of time ranging from two days to ten months, and lived with six different people and i'm still totally cool with it. i've never really felt lost or like where i was, wasn't where i was supposed to be. either i've become extremely good at adapting or this really is where i'm supposed to be in my life.
my ability to deal with changes so adeptly has me over the edge excited to study abroad next march! did i tell you, my two professors who agreed to write academic recommendations have emailed me back saying they've got my letters ready. all that's left to do is write my own 250 word personal essay and pay the $125 to apply. :)
4 comments:
love, love , love reading your blog. Every time I do I get to know more of the real Maria. I am liking what I see. I'm proud of you!
Mreh, You'll do awesome in Austria. I think we've both just accepted the fact that no place will ever be "home" until we've actually bought our own house. haha Also, I hope you don't hate me to much for bailing out on you on the whole thing. But who knows, maybe somehow before then like $10 grand will just fall into my lap and I'll get to come with you.
Remind me again why you can't redo your lease?
sandi, it was a choice not to really. i wanted to live in oakridge for next school year.
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