preemptive walk down memory lane.

i'm kind of at a loss here, guys. part of me has been feeling compelled to write in here for a good few weeks while the another part of me has been absolutely forbidding it. i only have a month left with time picking up speed each day, turning my mind into the very definition of conflict and confusion and therefore not really conducive for writing others would want to read (as you're about to find out).

i have so many things i'm looking forward to at home, like being reunited with my brother after a very long two years and a few exciting trips with people i have been really, really missing. but at the same time thinking about leaving this place makes me feel like frantically running around the city clinging to every surface possible.

i don't want to leave. i don't feel ready to say goodbye yet. there's so much i haven't seen, felt or eaten and to think of leaving before doing all that makes me feel like i'm never going to have an opportunity to.

but even beyond all that, i don't want to leave the people i've met here. guys, i've been so lucky. the branch here is full of such loving and giving members. if my belief in the christ-like nature that our church tries to instill in it's members was ever called to question, these people have more than validated it. i can't even imagine having to say goodbye to the missionary couple here, they've been like my european grandparents, always giving me a handshake and a hug every time they see me. not to mention the other friendships i've forged with the young single adults. every single one of them have been such a blessing in my life. to think that the time is coming where i won't get to see them every sunday, monday and thursday, or truthfully maybe ever again, is something i am having a hard time wrapping my head around. they've become such an anchor in my daily life that there is definitely going to be a gaping hole there once i leave.

i'm really going to miss planning elaborate trips that somehow end up happening. i'm going to miss friday night's dinner and a movie every weekend. i'm going to miss waiting for an extra 12-25 minutes at sillpark for my bus after FHE/JAE just so we can talk a little while longer. i'm going to miss watching ping pong games that seem to go on forever but always end up in consuming and infectious laughter. i'm just all around gong to miss getting to hang out with such amazing diverse people.

when i first signed up to come here i thought only of the experiences i was going to have, but i completely forgot to factor in the people who i was bound to care for way too much for my own good. 

  

i'm really going to miss these guys.